Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Now I DO want to hit someone!


Today CBS News reported that the "Leaders" in Washington D.C. have been working on a jobs bill. Good deal right? I'm unemployed. I want to work. So let's hear from the Senate.


"Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid suggested Monday -- it could bring down the rate of domestic violence. "I met with some people while I was home dealing with domestic abuse. It has gotten out of hand," Reid said on the Senate floor, the Hill newspaper reports.

"Why? Men don't have jobs." Even though women are losing jobs as well, "women aren't abusive, most of the time," Reid said. "Men, when they're out of work, tend to become abusive."

"It (domestic abuse) has gotten out of hand." Is the senator suggesting that there was a sufficient amount of spousal abuse before the economic down-turn and with Americans returning to work we can go back to a much more agreeable amount of spousal abuse?

Although there is a connection, are there degrees? I need a flow chart.

Unemployed = Wife beater
Under employed = Verbal abuser and kicks dog.
Employed but not in your field = Punches walls, drinks to excess.
Decent Job = Decent to spouse but masturbates to hot chicks on Univision.
Good Job = Happy, happy, happy. Fights with umps at kids sporting events.
Great Job = Excellent person. Non-violent. Get mistress so you don't accidentally bang your wife.

There you go. I feel better. I'm going to look for a job now.

4 comments:

LegalMist said...

Hey, welcome back. Sorry to hear you're still looking, haven't found anything yet. Best of luck today.

Gwen said...

Just another reason you gots to have a J-O-B if you want to be with me: I'm too pretty for hitting.

Son of a Thomas said...

Gwen - Yes you are but a good spanking may be in order.

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