Tuesday, December 9, 2008

No S*** he's the bad guy

I let my kids watch "The Lion King" at lunch today. I like the movie but I realized something.

Recognise this guy. Yeah it's Scar, The Lion king's brother.

He does all the bad stuff in the Movie. No S***! His freaking name is Scar! Who in the hell names there kid Scar then expects more that a dastardly villain.

Nobody else saw it coming either. Morons.

Christmas is over

Alright, so much for the "Son of a Thomas" 25 Days of blah, blah, blah. I've got other things to think about. Not right now mind you but other things all the same. There will still be some holiday related posts I'm sure, but 14 some-odd more days of googling candy cane pictures and I am going to throw up.

Later for now. I have (what I hope to be) a million dollar idea brewing that I can't talk about and I really need to work on.

I have been unemployed for a little over 2 months now and so I better come up with something soon.

My wife doesn't think I should tap savings to buy beer. Where in the hell did I find her?

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Not so Christmas

Alright. I know I said I would offer the "Son of a Thomas" 25 days of Christmas Holiday spectacular or something like that but today is December 7Th.

..........Anybody.............Anybody..........Here, this may help.

Today is recognized as Pearl Harbor day. 1941, the Japanese attacked American forces at Oahu. I am not going to give you a history lesson but you are probably aware that most people don't remember or recognize the day. Don't worry, I am not about to give you some "how bad we are" or "how much do I wave the flag" speech I just wonder, will the same fate happen to September 11Th.

On a similar note, if your into history check out EarthStation1.com. There is some great and weird stuff here.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Holiday lights

As you can see I am not talking about the lights you use to decorate. It was the second snow of the season tonight and it turns out to be what I call "real snow". It's real snow because it sticks to the paved surfaces as well as the yards, rooftops and cars. While tonight's snow is minimal and I guess unexpected (I don't watch the weather) I am sure the line of cars in front of my house comes from one thing. Moron drivers. For some reason people in the North East where I live, will never learn to drive in any weather event. Ever. It is like a brand new experience for them each and every year and "HOLY S***" (WHAM) "How'd that happen?" repeats the cycle.
There must have been and accident on the highway and everyone is being routed past my house. And I bet a bunch of there poor bastards were on their way to the mall to shop.

Oh well. The circle of life continues.

At least they get to see my 8ft Santa.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Here it is

Here is my rickety old (122 yrs) house with my hillbilly Santa. Since my children wanted it up I decided to make it as obnoxious as possible.

As I mentioned before, I have a snowman:

You can see him in the far left picture.

My children are happy. My mother-in-law said she almost cried.


Thursday, December 4, 2008


Ya ever see on of those. I have one. I also have an 8 ft. inflatable snowman and an 8ft inflatable Santa. I grew up in a traditional suburban setting so I was not originally accustomed to such things. My wife the same, traditional suburban setting. So where did the love of gaudy, obnoxious, hillbilly lawn manifestations come from? I believe my wife inherited it from her mother. See she was born in Binghampton N.Y. And although it's not completely backwards, let's just say there are more than a few trailers there for my liking.

My wife and Mother-in-Law wait until the day after Christmas to purchase these beauties then I get the pleasure of putting them up and taking their cold, wet, sloppy asses down only to pray for an entire season that the following year they won't work.

Well this year is different. This year my wife has a condition that is keeping her on bed rest. So all of the holiday decorating is being left to me.

I'm taking it slow. One box a day. If I don't like it. It don't go up. Pretty simple. My oldest has talked me into inflating the snowman so we will see where that takes us.

I'll have some pictures tomorrow.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Short but sweet.

One of the finest things ever created was 24 hours of "A Christmas Story". During the holidays it works out great because no matter how busy you get you eventually see the whole thing 2 or 3 times.

Gotta go. Still trying to get the lights going down my railing to work properly. Pictures soon to follow.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Right the first time

So, due to my condition (I'm a father) I had to watch "The Grinch who Stole Christmas" last night with my 6 year old. Now when he first said "Daddy, do you want to watch the Grinch?" I was all excited. My oldest, my boy. Falling in love with one of the Seussian classics. I couldn't have been prouder. Much to my chagrin, it turns out that what he wanted to watch was not the said classic but the Jim Carey rip-off. Now I have nothing against Jim Carey and like some of his movies. But really! Where do he and Ron Howard get off trying to redo something that was already done right.

All of this got me to thinking about the first holiday classic I watched that wasn't the original and how badly it turned out.

"It's a Wonderful Life." We all know it. I love this movie. And yes, it makes me tear. The part where George Bailey is on the bridge praying to get his life back....and then the snow starts to fall. Cue the water works.

When I was about 13, the family and I were sitting around watching t.v. when "It happened one Christmas" comes on. About ten minutes into the movie I'm thinking this is a rip-off. Marlo Thomas plays the part of George Baily and Wayne Rodgers plays his wife. What a piece of crap. At least compared to the original. (Which most people thought was a piece of crap when it was released.)

So sitting there last night with my oldest, cringing every time Jim Carey did (or didn't) do something like the original, reminded me that rarely is remake better than the original.

Any remakes you really hate?

Leave me a note.

Monday, December 1, 2008

For all of Yule

Today, I make my first installment of the "Son of a Thomas" 25 Days of Christmas Spectacular.
It's a simple but good one.

With the children all snuggled all nice in their beds and visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads, you and yours can settle down all snug in front of the fire. What? Don't have a fireplace? No prob.

Nothing says Christmas like the crackle of a warm fire.

(If you burn a small piece of furniture in the house, it will give you that realistic smell but remember, your on your own.)

Sunday, November 30, 2008


Crap, it's like the 30Th of November. If I have this right, "Thirty days has November, April, June and Montana. Yeah that's it. Tomorrow is the first day of December which means....

Welcome to the "Son of a Thomas" 25 days of Christmas Holiday Spectacular."

For the next 25 days, you will be shocked and amazed with post after post of holiday wonderment (not to be confused with wondermeat) that will shock and amaze. Some of them will be personal anecdotes. Some of them returns to holiday classics. Some will be phoned in. But all in all this will be the daily (I hope) gift that keeps on giving. And as a "Son of a Thomas" 25 Days of Christmas Holiday Spectacular warm up, I offer this.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Great!!! Thanks!!!!

So here is another place I can't go!

Teams of heavily armed gunmen stormed luxury hotels, a popular restaurant and a crowded train station in coordinated attacks across India's financial capital Wednesday night, killing at least 78 people and taking Westerners hostage, police said. A group of suspected Muslim militants claimed responsibility.

An explosion followed by a raging fire struck one of the hotels, the landmark Taj Mahal, early Thursday. Screams could be heard and enormous clouds of black smoke rose from the at the century-old edifice on Mumbai's waterfront. Firefighters were spraying water at the blaze. The attackers specifically targeted Britons and Americans, witnesses said. Fires burned and gunfire was heard for hours. Officials said at least 200 people were wounded.

Sons of bitches! Look, I ain't passing over the loss and injury to life or the lives that have been changed because of this horrible incident but.....I planned on doing some travel when my kids get older and this self-righteous sons of bitches aren't leaving many options.

On the brighter side,

President-elect Barack Obama pledged on Wednesday to have an economic plan ready for action to deal with the nation's financial crisis on his first day in office. "Help is on the way," he declared.

Good. Help. I need someone to move all this furniture out of my living room soon because I know my wife will want that tree any day now.

Hell of a place

No time to blog today or for the next couple. Not that I've done alot anyway. So for you hungry little monkeys........

I give you Turkey. An entire nation, bonded together, by the crispy goodness of a bird.

If I ever win the lottery, I am going to by Turkey and rename it Chicken. That will make them happy.

Monday, November 24, 2008


Monty Python's Flying Circus cracks me up. Still. I remember stumbling across it when I was like 13 or 14. Here's the story. I used to take some of my mom's smoke and do a few hits after she went to bed. Then, I would watch late night T.V. This was still in the day of 4 mainstream channels (ABC, NBC, CBS and PBS) and whatever we could pick-up on UHF. The Million Dollar Movie, Late Late shows and Carson. I loved Carson. The show moved in slow motion so I think I got his subtleties. I think that's why I get Carson and most of my friends don't. Sure, they were getting high like me. They just weren't watching Carson. Anyway, one night, I turned on PBS and there were these guys slapping each other with fish. One little man, bouncing up and down with 2 fish in his hands criss-crossing and slapping another, larger man in the face. When this stops, the larger man, takes out a big-ass fish and slaps the little man who proceeds to fall into a near-by river. I probably didn't have to bore you with the sketch (especially if you are familiar with it) but I'm laughing now just thinking about it.

So why the diatribe about Python. First- BBC America is showing it again so I can get it on Comcast's On Demand whenever I want to watch, Secondly, it's because I am starting this blog. The way I see it, there are few original Ideas. There are definite innovators of ideas, but few originals. It's like this, the original idea grew into a tree, dropped some acorns, and sprouted some other ideas, some so much like the first tree that the first tree is thought of as best. Some, retaining the great qualities of the first tree but branching out to something spectacular in there own right. That's what I'm wondering about this blog. Will it have anything interesting to say or will it just be another part of the damn Internet.

I guess we will have to see.